It's not easy being me

Mar 14, 2012
I mean really.   I find myself in the weirdest situations sometimes.  Here is something that happened last week that proves it....

Once upon a time I was in a pizza joint waiting on my order.  I always feel a little awkward just sitting there, sometimes I pretend I'm doing something incredibly important on my phone, sometimes I read the random papers that are on the wall.  This particular day the pizza place was hopping, so I was just watching them make all of the magically delicious pizzas.  If people looked my way as they came in, I would smile as they went on to placing their orders. 

Then came Earl. 

I don't actually know what his name is, but Earl would fit.

So in comes Earl with his scraggly beard and kind of scraggly hair.  Me being the nice person I am, smile.  He orders his pizza and then decides to come chat with me.  Now me being a sanguine, I enjoy meeting new random people and have no problem talking to whoever wants to chat it up in the pizza place.  I was not ready for this conversation though...first joke..."You look beautiful today." 

What I say: "Oh, thanks."  smile.
What I think: That was nice...wait how old are you like 60? Creepo meter just jumped 10 numbers.  Pizza, please be done soon.

He continues on a more normal note... I was still in shock, but it went something like this: 
"Man, am I hungry!  Doing work on my house...took guy home that was helping me...I watch a lot of TV....not very productive." Meanwhile I'm mmmhhhmm, oh and okay-ing.   

And then he hits me with another random line.

"Not much is happening in my love life right now.  I would like to get married again, and give that another shot."

What I say: Oh....awkward smile.
What I think:  What did he just say!!!!  OMG who says that to a stranger in a pizza place?!  I hope that wasn't him hitting on me!!!  Has it been 15 minutes yet?  Someone give me my pizza.

So awkward.  He just keeps talking.  "Addition on to house...lives with 92 year old mom....wants to visit his kids and grand kids in Florida." 

I don't want to be a jerk, I mean he hasn't like tried to make a creepy move on me or anything, so I just continue with the smiling, mmmhhhhmm-ing, and okay-ing. 

And then the moment I was waiting for..."Miss, your pizza is ready."  I jumped up so fast and I'm pretty sure angles were singing, and a bright light directed me to my pizza and then to the door.

"It was nice talking to you." he says.

"Yeah, you too."  smile.

"Maybe I'll see you around here again."

What I say: I walk out the door.
What I think: Thank goodness I live a half hour away.

See it's not easy being me.


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